


Anywhere But Chuck E. Cheese's

by Dee_Laundry



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-24
Updated: 2009-05-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 19:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dee_Laundry/pseuds/Dee_Laundry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House gets a call.  (Set about two years after the end of Season Five, deviating from canon at that point.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anywhere But Chuck E. Cheese's

**Author's Note:**

> If you've got friendship goggles, you can pretend the reference to slash sex is a joke.

Yeah, what?

A cheery good lunch-time to you, too, House.

Ah. How goes it in the Cameron-Chase Dank Den of Doom?

The babies are doing well, thank you. We think they’re out of the worst of the colic.

But the bitchiness will last a lifetime.

For some people it does. Listen, my wonderful and generous spouse –

Who is standing right next to you.

Yes. Yes, that’s true. Anyway, my dear spouse has agreed to take care of the twins solo for a few hours this weekend so I can spend some free time around something besides Boppies and Barney.

I don’t know what either of those are.

Which is why I’m calling you. Out of everyone I know, you’re the least likely to want to coo or compare notes or even ask me to see pictures. So how about it? Want to grab some spicy, cholesterol-laden food at a sports bar, and then see whatever movie out now has the most swearing in it? I’ll pay.

You won’t talk about the kids at all?

Are you kidding?

Just checking. What day?

Sunday, I was thinking.

 _This_ weekend? No can do. It’s Slutty Sunday; I’m busy.

Did they add a new special to Cinemax? TiVo it and come out with me.

It’s not a TV thing. Wilson has one Monday a month that he gives annual performance reviews, and the night before he always gets tanked on pina coladas and gives me head without expecting me to reciprocate. I’m not missing that.

I haven’t been out without the kids in months! You can skip it this once.

Recriprocation-free oral sex _without any guilt trip_. Tell me that’s not awesome enough to stay home for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Saturday I have to work a half-shift in the afternoon, but I guess we could go out after that. Chase would be stuck with the kids for like ten hours straight, though, which I hate to... No, come to think of it, that comment about me “not getting anything done” during maternity leave deserves a little lesson. Saturday will be fine.

Don’t forget your purse.

I won’t. I’ll pick you up Saturday at six.


End file.
